WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
During the 90's I use to love the hit TV show, The Nanny. You remember, Fran Fine, the cosmetic sales women with a sharp sense of humour and ‘Queens logic’, appears on the doorstep of wealthy widower, Maxwell Sheffield, and inexplicably gets a job as the nanny to his three children. Six thirty each night, my sisters and I were glued to the TV, and I’m pretty sure mum watched over her shoulder whist cooking dinner. Apart from Fran's incredible Moschino outfits, which she wore regularilly, a particular thing I remember from this show was her plastic covered, mustard coloured, velvet lounge chair and the ghastly noise it made when she sat on it (almost as bad a nails down a blackboard). I recall asking mum, “why on Earth is the lounge covered in plastic”? I was rather confused by the concept. A trend of the time, it was because the clear plastic allowed you to see the lounge through it, but the plastic protected it from 'spills'. It was only temporary and would be removed when someone special came over. Totally logic!?!
I never have been one of those people who save things for good. In our home, having two young boys, I really have had to learn to let them 'respectfully be' in their surroundings, because me screaming at them none stop about dropping a crumb is exhausting. Although everything is spotless (I have a slight dose of OCD) they are allowed to sit, spread out or eat on any surface. As pretty much everything can be put in the washing machine and sterilised. And when it comes to my wardrobe, I have the same rules. I do not 'save' my clothes, shoes or handbags for 'good' or a 'special occasion', unless it is a ball gown. I have even taken my Hermes Birkin to the beach - haha it was actually because I was too scared to leave it in my car in case it got stolen! But there it sat - on a towel on the sand, and under an umbrella. If you are reading this, I know about 80% of you are shocked I, a) took my Birkin to the beach, and b) acknowledge having a section in your wardrobe dedicated to these 'special' clothes. Mmmmmm. You are also that person, that when a special event is on, goes out to buy something else rather than wearing something from the 'precious' section? Are you nodding?
Are you like Fran Fine and cover your clothes in plastic to save them from spills? Why do we do that? Why do we buy things and put them away?
“Did you know that on average women wear only 20 - 30 percent of their wardrobes?”
One of my sisters is the worst offender and is going to kill me for telling you! A corporate and extremely successful business women, who has a wardrobe most of us would dream of. All perfectly hung and spaced with 1cm between each coat hanger...I am not joking. Oh, and it is also colour coded by hue. It is filled with the most beautiful pieces collected from all over the world - handbags, footwear and divine clothing. However, she wears approx five things on rotation, and these 'life clothes' are much cheaper versions of 95% of her wardrobe. Because she is my sister - I am allowed to get angry at her, mainly as I want to take everything she doesn't wear for myself, but also because I ask her, out of love, "what is she waiting for?". Why have your wardrobe like a shrine when you don't enjoy it? Her response is always "I will, I will"...and although she it yet to listen to me 100%, she does admit my nagging has helped her significantly. She will call me shrieking in delight at how good she feels because she is wearing clothes from the cherished part of her wardrobe. And she’s blown away by all the compliments about how good she looks! What I have observed from her, and many of my clients who suffer from this same problem, is that there are a few key issues that stop people from wearing the clothes in their wardrobe.
Think about the cost associated and waste of space having these clothes just sitting there waiting for an outing. It is important to get to a place that you acknowledge the most confident you. So you don't second-guess these clothes as being 'too special' and start enjoying them.There is a difference in buying clothes you think you love and then realise later you don't like them (we all do that, but that's another topic altogether). And it is not about clothes being too expensive to wear, as I have spoken before about how the price doesn't define your style (read here if you missed it). It is why you think you are not good enough in every day life to wear these things.
“Don’t save something for a special occasion.
Everyday of your life is a special occasion.”
Saving for a life we want. We all dream of a better us, and the day that we will have all our goals and dreams met. But I am beginning to think that even when our dreams come true, it's still won’t be enough. We love studded biker jackets and knee high boots, but don't have the lifestyle to wear them...but buy them anyway. Are we buying things we know deep down we will never wear...maybe because we are dreaming of a life we want? I think we all need to learn to live in the moment and although planning for the future is important, don't let it be a deterrent to living now. So, when you are buying clothes, make decisions about items you can and will wear in the “now”. Or, force yourself to simply wear the clothes you dream of wearing.
I will wear them when I loose weight. I hear from many clients and friends that they buy things for when they are their ideal weight. Or don't wear their good clothes because they don't fit right and 'won't look as good on'. We may need to start asking ourselves, are we being honest with ourselves about our goal weight rather than our real weight? “Someday”, when we lose weight may be a long way away and rather than putting pressure on ourselves, we might need to embrace who we are today. Weight loss can still be the goal, but is it worth looking terrible until your dream weight is reached? You can look good at any weight, but it's important to feel from the inside this is possible.
“Everything looks really good when you stop looking for flaws.”
I just like being comfortable. Many clients, when I ask them, "Why do you wear this extremely unflattering top?" answer, "because it’s comfortable". When you are in a ‘getting dressed routine’, because you are busy, tired or in a rush, you will always go to your comfort clothes because it is essentially your uniform. I also have witnessed friends and clients wardrobes filled with beautiful clothes and accessories, but for work, they wear their cheapest or most unstylish clothes as it’s, 'just for work'. Keep in mind, you are probably at work more hours of the day than not. So, why not wear your good clothes to work? Being stylish can be comfortable and there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good 24/7. Save your comfortable clothes for when you are at home binge watching Netflix.
Guilt. We are all guilty of buying things we can't afford. I know. I often buy things and think hiding them in my wardrobe makes the credit card bill go away! Or, if we bought it "ages ago", it's not regarded as being new...partners must hear this all the time. If you feel guilty about your shopping habits, but can’t help yourself, you need to start wearing everything. This way you might realise you don't actually need everything you are buying, as there isn't enough days in the week! It also might make you realise you don't actually need that much in your wardrobe.
So, I have a challenge for you all to do for me. And I would like you to report back! Enter the area of your wardrobe you don’t wear because you are saving them for good...and rip off the plastic and remove the dust. For a whole week embrace wearing your good clothes in normal life. When you do the grocery shopping, rock those heels. Dropping the kids off to school, dress up in a dress. When you head to work, wear the leather jacket. There is no more guilt about wearing them. Because if tomorrow never came, what were you saving them for.
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